Self Confidence: Face Your Fears

The quality of your thoughts affect both your self-esteem and confidence. How often do your thoughts and inner voices make you doubt your abilities even though you have overcome many similar obstacles? How often have your thoughts and inner voices made you not act in your best interests because you felt unworthy? More often than not, these thoughts are exaggerated, and the inner voices are deceptions. These inner mechanisms are programmed to protect us and keep us safe. It is ok to observe these defensive devices, yet ask your self; will I enhance my quality of life if I take action? It is important to shift to sensible, sound, and supportive messages that will help you make decisions that are in your best interests.

Overcoming your insecurities and building your confidence may take time, but you can build upon your successes. Even small steps will lead to huge gains. Building self confidence is all about progress, because some people’s self esteem and self image are more fragile than others. For example, I was emceeing an event with a buddy of mine. He was a very competent speaker more so than me; yet he feared speaking in front of large crowds. Before the event we prepared thoroughly. We practiced how we would bring up the performers, how we would lead into each phase of the program, which words to emphasize to excite the audience, even our interaction. Leading up to the show, I continued to encourage and build his self- confidence by telling him how great of a speaker he was. I told him that most of the people in the audience knew him and that they want to see him do well. I also told him that we were both well prepared. He understood that I had his back, and I knew that he had mine. The event was a great success. We had such chemistry that the event planner ask us to do their upcoming event in a neighboring city. However, because of prior engagements I had to decline, but my partner agreed to do the show alone. I was surprised that he would take such a huge risk. His confidence was to the roof. I was proud of him, yet a little concerned because this event was out of town. He would be emceeing alone in front of strangers, yet I assured him that he could do it. I told him to go through the process of preparation that we had done earlier and he would be fine.

Although my friend made it through the show, watching the recording I realized that it was not as exciting as the one we did together. The audience was disinterested, and it was extremely painful watching my friend struggle through the show. The event planner was a jerk about the situation, and openly stated that my friend would never emcee another show for her again. Now this would have broken many people, or perhaps shell-shocked them for life, but my friend said that this was the best thing that could have happened to him. It made him face his fears head on. He admitted that he "bummed" the show, yet he realized that fear was only an illusion. He said that by facing it he diminished it. He said many people may view the show as a failure, but he view it as a success because he endured until the end. Now he is a very successful motivational speaker, and is in high demand in the State of Georgia.

Lesson learned

• Don’t take criticism personally or allow it to affect you
• Confront your fears and they will diminish
• Feel the fear but take action in spite of
• Remain positive and find something good in a bad situation

Cheers!

Success Conscious: Know Thy Self

Success consciousness can mean many things to different people. My definition of success consciousness simply mean being vigilant to your weaknesses and quickly adjusting your behavior to counter your damaging thoughts. One must change their behavior and routines that support their new and inspiring beliefs of who they want to become and what they want to do. What you think affects what you feel. What you feel dictates what you do, and what you do determines what you get.

The first step in raising your awareness or becoming self conscious is to know yourself completely. Get in touch with your strengths, weaknesses, passions, and values. Set aside some time in your day for reflection; I call this me time. This could include listening to a piece of inspiring music, meditating, reading, praying, or simply doing nothing. Make a positive commitment to self discovery; understand who you truly are.

Understanding yourself will give you a deeper understanding of others. We are all human. We all face the same challenges, have the same fears, and are prone to the same mistakes. No one is perfect; therefore you should not allow anyone to rain on your parade. Nor should you get caught up in self sabotage. Keep your eye on the prize, and protect your dreams and self-esteem as if they were your most precious possessions.

As you begin to grow and evolve into the confident person you’re creating, consider testing the waters. Challenge yourself; this will help speed up the process. Start slowly and gradually increase as you gain more success and confidence. Do not be afraid to edify a friend who is struggling with similar issues. The best way to help youself is to help others. Express your gratitude and remain humble because success tends to bring out another side of us; more on that in another session. On a final note, opportunity is everywhere and is in every nuance of life; your level of success consciouness will determine how often you recognize it.

Cheers!

Fear: Maker of Mavericks & Mice

Fear is one of the most damaging emotions, and it lives within us all. Some say that success comes from the fear of failure. Be it true or not, there is one constant; one must accept failure as part of the learning process for success to manifest itself. Failure should be viewed as our own personal and unique learning experience; it should not be feared, for it is absolutely essential for personal growth and development. Paraphrasing Nelson Mandela, we do not fear failure we fear success. Our expectation causes us to be afraid. Fear is manifested through our insecurities. One of our biggest anxieties is us being exposed. The bottom line is, deep down we dread not measuring up. Therefore; we might not put forth our greatest effort, and in my opinion that is a shame.

The need for external gratification is the biggest hurdle when it comes to overcoming the fear of failure. One may never really be secure with themselves if they cannot overcome the need for external gratification. When you crave the approval from others you are allowing them to control you. Being a people pleasure is not healthy. It is a waste of time because you will never be able to please everyone. If you have not notice human beings are finicky; therefore, live your life according to your values and standards. Do not fall prey to other peoples’ opinion. Judgmental people have empty lives. They are pessimist who haven't accomplished much, tried much, and are failures in their own mind. They claim to know it all, yet essentially have not done anything.

In life one cannot afford not taking risks. Living life to the fullest involves experiencing new things. Engage in behavior that’s counter to the norm, and ultimately people will perceive you as being novel; even a trail blazer. How great is that! March to your own drum, despite other’s opinion good or bad. Push past your fears, and do what makes you look good in your own eyes.

Cheers!

5 Techniques to Create Influence & Confidence

Every human activity is dictated by a person's confidence or lack thereof. Without it, your life is meaningless and success is minimal. A person without confidence must first acquire it, and then practice to improve it. For some people confidence seems to come natural in some situations, and then there are others who allow fear to steal their confidence; yet it can be learned. It is a doggy dog world, and self confidence is absolutely essential for survival in your personal and professional life.

Your confidence level can be conveyed both orally and though body language. The way a person walk, talk, stand, and interacts with others communicates the individual's level of confidence. Many people claim that your handshake says a lot about you. A confident person commands respect, and people are drawn to them. The quality of your self confidence determines the quality of your influence.

1.) When conversing maintain eye contact long enough to notice the color of the addressee eyes.
2.) Whenever possible make an attempt to address the individual directly. (eg… How are you doing Chris? Good morning Sherry! April how was your weekend.)
3.) Always speak to strangers. Speak to everyone. This may feel awkward at first, but it creates a strong and engaging presence for you.
4.) Be more affectionate and appreciative. (eg… You are so much fun to be around Mary! Jason; great job today!)
5.) Infer or reinforce specific abilities or positive self image (eg… That looks great Charles; I really appreciate it. Sherry that is awesome, you are a real pro!)

A person who is confident has a magnetic personality that draws people to them; they are raw, compelling, and yet amusing. These are some simple techniques that you can put to use today to create influence both at home and on the job.

Cheers!

Building Charismatic Leaders

Are you in a place of leadership? Do you have the desire to lead like John F. Kennedy, have the following of a Martin Luther King, or the charm of a young Bill Clinton? These are charismatic leaders. Charismatic leaders have charisma and inspire people with their allure and honesty. Charismatic leaders permeate confidence, and people are attracted to their energy and vision. They are thought of as superstars, and have a knack for motivating people. Charismatic leaders have clear sited vision and are gifted communicators. They are proven problem solvers and great listeners. They are able to clarify the essence of their vision in glowing terms that is understandable to others. Their vernacular tends to be entertaining. Observe the speech of a charismatic leader, and note how many catch phrases are used.

Charismatic leaders have a high level of congruency in their verbal language and body language which makes them very persuasive. They use people's perception of them to lead them. Using a person's perception as their inspiration is absolute power. They set high standards for themselves and demand high standards of performance from their associates. Charismatic leaders do not engage in coercive power for they understand that it only yields short term success. They demonstrate their confidence in people by stating ambitious goals for them individually as well as a group. They convey absolute belief that “the team” will achieve their expectation. People will follow those that they have admiration for.

Concluding, leadership is a privilege that is bestowed upon you by those that are led. To create followers one must possess style and grace. Below are 7 things to incorporate into your daily routine that will help you to become a charismatic leader. Remember you don’t have to be in a leadership position to lead.

1.) Study the lifestyle and behavior or people like Bill Clinton, John F. Kennedy, Barack Obama, Suze Orman, and Oprah Winfrey.
2.) Bring energy and excitement with you everywhere you go.
3.) Despite how bad it seems, find something good in it.
4.) Have the courage to express the real you.
5.) Let each task or occupation you undertake be your Super bowl.
6.) Never criticize or ridicule anybody for anything
7.) Make people feel important

Cheers!