Self Confidence: Face Your Fears

The quality of your thoughts affect both your self-esteem and confidence. How often do your thoughts and inner voices make you doubt your abilities even though you have overcome many similar obstacles? How often have your thoughts and inner voices made you not act in your best interests because you felt unworthy? More often than not, these thoughts are exaggerated, and the inner voices are deceptions. These inner mechanisms are programmed to protect us and keep us safe. It is ok to observe these defensive devices, yet ask your self; will I enhance my quality of life if I take action? It is important to shift to sensible, sound, and supportive messages that will help you make decisions that are in your best interests.

Overcoming your insecurities and building your confidence may take time, but you can build upon your successes. Even small steps will lead to huge gains. Building self confidence is all about progress, because some people’s self esteem and self image are more fragile than others. For example, I was emceeing an event with a buddy of mine. He was a very competent speaker more so than me; yet he feared speaking in front of large crowds. Before the event we prepared thoroughly. We practiced how we would bring up the performers, how we would lead into each phase of the program, which words to emphasize to excite the audience, even our interaction. Leading up to the show, I continued to encourage and build his self- confidence by telling him how great of a speaker he was. I told him that most of the people in the audience knew him and that they want to see him do well. I also told him that we were both well prepared. He understood that I had his back, and I knew that he had mine. The event was a great success. We had such chemistry that the event planner ask us to do their upcoming event in a neighboring city. However, because of prior engagements I had to decline, but my partner agreed to do the show alone. I was surprised that he would take such a huge risk. His confidence was to the roof. I was proud of him, yet a little concerned because this event was out of town. He would be emceeing alone in front of strangers, yet I assured him that he could do it. I told him to go through the process of preparation that we had done earlier and he would be fine.

Although my friend made it through the show, watching the recording I realized that it was not as exciting as the one we did together. The audience was disinterested, and it was extremely painful watching my friend struggle through the show. The event planner was a jerk about the situation, and openly stated that my friend would never emcee another show for her again. Now this would have broken many people, or perhaps shell-shocked them for life, but my friend said that this was the best thing that could have happened to him. It made him face his fears head on. He admitted that he "bummed" the show, yet he realized that fear was only an illusion. He said that by facing it he diminished it. He said many people may view the show as a failure, but he view it as a success because he endured until the end. Now he is a very successful motivational speaker, and is in high demand in the State of Georgia.

Lesson learned

• Don’t take criticism personally or allow it to affect you
• Confront your fears and they will diminish
• Feel the fear but take action in spite of
• Remain positive and find something good in a bad situation

Cheers!